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Is he in a place where he wants a long-term relationship?
It was also clear that she had her ideas formed by what she had read previously. Because while there’s a lot of good stuff out there, no one expert has all the answers.
The nervousness I’m referring to comes wanting to know what happens AFTER the first date. (I love women like this, by the way.) As she peppered me with questions, it was clear to me that she had done a lot of research.
Is he going to call me tomorrow to say he wants to see me again? Early 40’s, bright, successful, and really excited about coaching and learning about the opposite sex.
Not because you’re insecure that he’s going to like you; you’re actually quite confident that most men will respond to you. In other words, you want to know the future – and protect yourself from heartbreak by figuring it out as soon as possible. The problem is that even HE doesn’t know the future. This woman is not just an avid dater – she’s a learning-about-men MACHINE.
Because suddenly he’s not the guy who’s buying your drinks and trying to make you laugh – he’s being interviewed like an intern who is applying for a lifetime job at your company. And if you want to get a second date, it’s kind of important for him to like you! Now imagine that he told you that on the first date. And your desire for marriage, family, and the ability to potentially be a stay-at-home mom is something that you’re better off springing once he already LIKES you and has something invested in you – not right after he learns what you do for a living.
Which is why it’s my job to tell you to ignore this kind of well-intentioned advice. And he told you after 8 months together that he was taking Zoloft to keep his mood up. To suggest otherwise – to encourage you to “save time” by offering your innermost desires on Date 1 – is simply irresponsible and ineffective.
I think too many women (and some men) are so fixated on their final “goal” of finding a long-term partner that they forget to enjoy the journey.
Medellin women are beautiful, and word is spreading pretty much around the world. I have been dating Colombian women for over 6 years now.Lisa Copeland is a fabulous woman, with a passion for helping women to find quality men.